5 Things I learnt from: Salt

Today I look at the lady spy film Salt and attempt to rub some into a wound.

Oh please, did you really expect me to put a picture of her in her pants up? it's a PG13 blog people!

1. More underwear
Okay so it was only the opening scene, but Salt has been captured by North Korean agents as a spy and they are interrogating her... by pumping her full of liquids.... in her underwear. Again this is the only scene where she is dressed this way, but it sticks in your head. Not only because it features Angelina Jolie in her notably mentionable unmentionables but because it is the first scene, it sets the tone for the whole film, and ms Jolie in her wears says to me: "Hey this movie features a hot chick, so you should really enjoy this you sucker jawed youth".

And when one of the main man action heroes is this guy are you really surprised?

2. Male action heros love the sound of their own voice.
In Salt the main character will go large portions of time where she won't say anything, just skulk around the sides trying to put her plans into action, where as if you watch another action film with a male lead, you can barely go 10 minutes with out having either some piece of self-serving expositional dialogue or a narration of how they are thinking of taking a leak. But I don't blame the male leads I rather blame the Hollywood producers who believe that you can't get people to watch a movie unless there is a pair of breasts bouncing around on the screen, you want to know why the male heroes talk more, because they have to spoon feed the audience this romance that more often than not doesn't need to be in this movie. I mean imagine if in Romeo and Juliet Romeo had worked for the ISP (Italian Spy Peoples) do you really think with all the explosions and assassin's trying to get him he would have cared about the wet fish of a girl who was only interesting when he had nothing better to do? I think not.

This is what we in the biz call and "Indy in a fridge" Jr

3. Plot convenience is exacerbated
SO Salt manages to make it look like she killed the Russian President by shooing him full of spider venom that makes him look like he is dead and she knows this because her husband happened to be a spider studier/wrangler. How big a plot convenience is that? I mean really, in the Bourne movies aside from finding handy supplies of arms in various places it is all fairly well set up and conveniounce free.

After a male operative leaves / After a female operative leaves

4. Kill Frenzy is Fun Frenzy
So in a generic spy film, if the spy goes rouge then they kill everyone until they can get to the top guy and say 'wait don't shoot I didn't do it, see look at my smiley face'. While in Salt only the Russians get killed by Salt whilst the good pure and righteous Americans only get knocked out. I'm not saying this is better or worse, but it could be seen as a move towards avoiding a female anti-hero.


5. The Cold War is a new ideas bargin bucket

A game, a book and a movie

The Cold War escalated! The Russians were up to something! There a secret Soviets hiding in America! Why does it seem there is an out break of Cold War styled stories across all medias? Why can't we have that We Australians got mad with the Americans for some reason and tries to pull this same stunt? I would make about as much sense in this political climate.

5 things I learnt from: SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

Today I look at Scott Pilgrim, and what it has taught me.

1. Realistic relationships can work in movies

Scott Pilgrim tells the tale of an indy slacker who must defeat the 7 evil ex's of the new girl he is dating called Ramona Flowers. The thing that first struck me upon watching this movie was how well rounded the characters and their interactions were. Seriously, I want you to think about any other 'romantic comedy' that has come out this year... now movies like the Bounty Hunter and She's out of my League spring to mind.These films take perfect models of people and throw them together with the only dilemma between them being that they can't seem to work out that they should be together. Scott Pilgrim raises a massive single finger salute to this and makes it's main characters all flawed douches. Seriously, Scott Pilgrim starts with the titular character going out with a teenager in order to help get over the girl who dumped him a year ago, that is until someone better in Ms Flowers comes along and he drops the teen like a dog at the pound. Ramona herself isn't immune to massive amounts of douche bag behavior, with her constant dumping of boyfriends resulting in the league of ex's, and then never bothering to mention to Scott what hen is facing, Ramona is always looking out for herself. But isn't that so much closer to real life, relationships are never just about me loving you so very huggy much. We get into relationships because we think we need that role of a companion filled by someone, but in the end we'll always look after ourselves over others.

2. Micheal Cera will never play anything else well.

I have always like Micheal Cera, despite the fact that he does play the one role but I don't hold it against him because he does it well... Oh come on you know the one: The indy slacker who had a secret heart of gold, and tries for a relationship and would get one if the women could see how good he is for them. His role in this film is the same... but slightly different:The indy slacker who wishes he had a secret heart of gold, and tries for a relationship and would get one if he was less of an emotional hurricane and a douche bag. However this is all irrelevant as I already knew this before I saw the film, so what did I learn? Well upon reflecting on Mr Cera's proformance I began to wonder whether he could become a true action hero or become one of those harmless or douchy characters in a drama, and I just couldn't see it, he is to humorous to be taken seriously in any Drama and he wouldn't work as an action hero because he is relate-able. What do I mean? Well in an action film we are looking at some one who is clever smart and built like a tank with legs, so rather than being relate-able they are more an idealised version of what we want to be. So here is my prediction, Michael Cera will get a few more miles out of his current stich and then spiral into cable comedy obscurity.

3. Edgar Wright is more than his resume has made out.

Okay so Edgar Wright may have been the director of Spaced, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, but they are hardly genre defining social deconstructions. So for him to come out and bring us something that effortlessly mixes comics with video games with movies, is near unbelievable. I look forward to seeing what else he can do with the money he hopefully will get to make more films like this.






4. People gets me!

I'll keep this short, This movies is like a long protracted look into the inner most depths of my psyche and I would bet many other geeks as well.

5. Canada beats America

I would like to draw everyone's attention to something, 2 of the Exs in the film are played by Chris Evans and Brandon Routh, who play Marvel's Captain America and DC's Superman respectively. So by  a contrived drawing of my extremly long bow, Scott Pilgrim is the best superhero of all time, beating both Marvel and DC's big guns.

Question: What other Graphic Novels do you want to see made into films? Or re-made like this?